I am so embarrassed to have to post that I gained 9.2 lbs…but, it is what it is. That damn Tanita is too accurate and I can’t hide from or lie to the friends who read this blog or to myself who reads the scale in all it’s accurate glory. I am disappointed but not discouraged that I now weigh a tiny bit over my starting weight. Knocking myself in the head…WHAT DID I JUST SAY?…YES, I WEIGH JUST OVER MY STARTING WEIGHT! This sh*t is so f*!king hard, please excuse my language, but I am so damn mad right now.
I do have one thing to say… iPod — SchmiPod. Okay, so I can’t blame the iPod, but I sure as hell want to blame something other than myself. I really have fallen in love with Chaotic my little piece of electronic wonderment.
I think right now I am soooo anticipating the new year that I am over eating a lot. I’ve done the 10lb. holiday weight gain before the dang-blasted holidays. My ass is so backwards sometime. I keep feeling like I have to resign myself to being obese for the rest of my life and then the next day I resign myself to stop the “stinkin thinkin.” I feel like I am aimlessly wondering through a verbal juggernaut with myself all the time. I can’t get my “being” to coordinate with my wants and desires.
This is so damn hard….
Be well, CF
As always, be well
CF
“Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, kindness in feeling creates love.” — Lao Tzu
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I am only on page three and the self analysis has truly begun. I am trying to find out why I have this bottomless pit of hunger and never feel quite full. One thing I have learned is that I feel guilty for not better protecting the little girl I used to be. Again, I am only on page three so this is going to one hell of a road to real and authentic self discovery. Lisamm — Books on the Brain you rock. I will be eternally grateful to you.