My alter ego, Fatty McFatinstein is fat and out of/in control. For me, EXERCISING, no problem, EATING, no problem, PORTION CONTROL, big fucking problem. I am finding it so difficult to control how much I eat; I know when I am satiated, but not when I’m full. I go past the point of being full, to keep feeding the monster, to keep her feeling she has CONTROL.

Monday – Friday, 9:00am – 5:00pm, I have complete and total control over my eating and I succeed. I have structure, confidence and discipline. Whenever I am home McFatty takes over and I completely loose my mind; Saturday morning through Sunday evening McFatinstein rules.

I’m failing and my psyche can’t take it. I am dreading my weigh-in on Saturday because I know I have gained weight. But, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. Fatty McFatinstein has a fight on her hands…So Bring It On BITCH!