Tonight to relieve the boredom, I started channel surfing and landed on HollyHood an MTV reality show staring the Oscar winning rap trio Three 6 Mafia. I come in somewhere in the middle to find that the cast is having a weight loss contest. I’m watching and one at a time, three fat men get on the scale to find out their starting weight and I realize (consciously or subconsciously) that I am fatter than the Three 6 Mafia entourage, I weigh more than each of them individually. I all of a sudden feel like I’m drowning and I can’t catch my breath…Oh crap, I’m hyperventilating. This has got to be a joke.

I’m fatter than the three big ass men (Project Pat, Big Triece and Computer) in the Three 6 Mafia entourage…what the hell! Do I need a brick to fall on my head? Do I need a brick or a paradigm shift. This is insane, but most days I don’t feel motivated to do anything, I am in this mindset…a funk.

Oh fuck, I need to get up off my ass and do something or I am going to die, plain and simple. You would think that my writing that statement and the thought of me actually dying would give me a feeling of motivation, sadness, fear or something, but I got nothing, just some words on a blog that don’t mean shit. I have been stuffing my feelings in food for so long that I am all felt out. You need to ”Hug it out, Bitch.”

I intended this blog to be funny and engaging and it’s turning out sad and depressing. I might be able to chalk all of this angst up to Period PMS, lets hope so or I may need to acquire a bottle of some mood altering drug like Prozac or Zoloft…any kind of happy pill will do.

As always, be well CF “Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, kindness in feeling creates love.” — Lao Tzu Watch me on Youtube